April 1980
APRIL 1980
I am not a fan of private clubs with exclusive membership rolls. But as the comedian Janeane Garofalo once said, I'm not made of stone, here, people, and the Masters is, well, the Masters. So I'm willing to set aside the actual horror show of real life sexism and racism to celebrate the world's greatest golf tournament, with all the standard caveats applied.
Now that golf (and soon tennis) have entered the chat, yet another question occurs to me. To replay a tournament like this, PLAAY offers a neat method to allow the dozens or hundreds of entrants to be whittled down to a manageable few, involving piles of cards and some dice rolls to determine who is in serious contention (or, in tennis, who advances towards the final.) I suppose that, to be a proper replay, one should take every eligible player and allow them to try and compete. However, that would involve far too many dice rolls and too much time, so I will allow PLAAY's shortcuts to make the replay reasonable.
Baseball's Opening Day crossed over with the first day of the Masters, and I will recognize that event by replaying my beloved Red Sox' lidlifter in Milwaukee, the late Rickey Henderson's debut with Oakland against the Twins, and the fascinating (though not beloved in this corner) Yankees opening up in Texas.
Number One Single: Blondie, "Call Me"
Number One Album: Pink Floyd, "The Wall."
Number One Movie: "Little Darlings," a Kristy McNichol teen sex comedy I had not heard of previously.
Number One Book: "The Bourne Identity," Robert Ludlum (fiction)
"Free to Choose," Milton Friedman (nonfiction) (technically speaking- I'm not a fan.)
April 1980 World Events:
The United States conducted a census, resulting in a count of 226 million people.
Iran and the US end diplomatic relations, subsequent to the hostages being taken.
The band REM was formed.
Post It Notes were offered for sale
Gordie Howe scored his final NHL goal.
The US Olympic Committee voted to boycott the Summer Olympics in Moscow.
Runner Terry Fox began his Marathon of Hope, a fundraising campaign for the Canadian Cancer Society.
The musical "Grease" closed on Broadway after 3388 performances.
Iron Maiden released their first album.
(Actual replay result: Seve Ballesteros opened up a large lead, stumbled down the stretch, but held on for the win. He was the first European to win the Masters.)
REPLAY RESULT:
LUCKY THIRTEEN
WATSON GOES EAGLE-BIRDIE-BIRDIE TO CATCH LEADER
It began at Azalea, the 13th hole, one that sweeps left towards a green that has water in front and a bank of bunkers behind. Augusta had been playing its wicked game, shredding the leaderboard until only a few real contenders remained. The Kansan Tom Watson still had a small shot, but staring up at Seve Ballesteros' 6 shot lead, he was running out of time. Watson drove the 13th, then attacked with a gorgeous iron and a smooth 6 foot putt that dropped for an eagle.
Ballesteros, playing in the group behind Watson, seemed unaffected, parring 12 just after the roar from Watson's triumph reached his ears. Watson birdied 14 as well, but Ballesteros birdied 13 to keep his lead intact. When Watson knocked in a birdie putt on 15, and the Spaniard only earned a par on 14, the lead was halved, and any reasonable person would start to sweat. If Ballesteros merely maintained par the rest of the way, it would take a Herculean effort, even from a golfer as skilled as Watson, for him to be caught.
Ballesteros, tragically, did not. The devils of Georgia caught him as he three putted both 15 and 16, and the European left 16 tied for the lead of a tournament he had been dominating for 3 and a half days. Both golfers then bogeyed 18, setting up a sudden death playoff in the fading spring sun. The two men went back to the tee box on 18 for the first playoff hole, one hole for all the marbles, win or go home.
Back at Holly, Watson ground up a workmanlike par, and Ballesteros had to chip out of a bunker on his third shot to try and extend the match beyond the 73rd hole. Instead of his typical arching shot, this final wedge was long, leaving a putt that was simply unmakeable, giving Watson his second Masters, breaking a two year streak of finishing as the runner up.